“If I Can’t ‘Fix’ This, I Might Have to Rehome My Dog!”
“HELP”!
Many people reach out to me feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and scared—saying things like: “If I can’t fix this, I’m going to have to rehome my dog!”
Let’s start by gently reframing one word that carries a lot of pressure: “fix.”
Your dog isn’t broken. He isn’t a malfunctioning appliance or a car with a part that can simply be replaced. Your dog and his behavior are shaped by genetics, early experiences, learning history, and the environment he lives in today. In fact, many behaviors we label as “bad” are actually very normal dog behaviors—just ones that don’t fit easily into our human world.
When we talk about “fixing” a dog, it can make behavior change sound fast and mechanical. The reality is it isn’t either of those things! Lasting behavior change happens when we modify the environment, teach new skills, and often change our own behavior, too. While there is so much that can be done to improve behavior—this process takes time, clarity, and support.
Before you decide if a situation is hopeless, there are important questions to consider:
- Is the environment set up for success?
Are we asking our dog to make good choices in situations he’s not yet prepared for or hasn’t been trained for? - Are our dog’s needs being met?
Physical exercise, mental stimulation, rest, enrichment, and emotional safety all matter. - Have we clearly taught alternative behaviors?
Dogs don’t understand what we don’t want unless we teach them what we do want. This is called response substitution, and it takes repetition—often hundreds of successful reps—in many environments and levels of distraction for a dog to understand the expectation. - Are we using modern, force-free training methods?
Decades of research show that punishment-based techniques can increase fear, anxiety, and even aggression. Training should help your dog feel safer and fun much like teaching a Kindergartener their ABCs not add to their stress load.
These questions aren’t intended to blame – after all we are all doing our best. They simply help us understand where change is needed.
Let’s Talk Honestly About Rehoming
This is the hardest part of the conversation, but it’s an important one.
Dogs with behavioral challenges are extremely difficult to rehome. Dogs with bite histories or significant fear or aggression may not be accepted by rescues or shelters due to safety and liability concerns. Even when a dog does not have a bite history, the reality is sobering: people are not lining up to adopt dogs with known behavior issues.
Add to this, adoptions are down nationally and dogs without behavioral issues are sitting in shelters and rescues often for a very long time waiting for adoption.
After decades in rescue and many years working in a shelter handling owner surrenders, I can tell you this with certainty—the best chance a dog with behavior challenges has is with someone who already knows them and has an emotional bank account with them. That person is often you.
If you rehome the dog yourself, you can often be liable for the life of the dog. This is something to consider and research the legal ramifications of rehoming a dog with behavioral issues.
This doesn’t mean you are obligated to suffer or go it alone. It means that with the right guidance, support, and plan, there is often far more hope than people realize.
There Is Help—and There Is Hope
Helping a dog with behavioral challenges isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about:
- Managing the environment
- Meeting the dog’s emotional and physical needs
- Teaching coping skills and alternative behaviors
- Supporting the human side of the leash, too
As a Certified Behavior Consultant,Trainer and Trauma Informed Approach Professional, this is the work I do every single day. Change is possible—but it requires compassion, patience, and a realistic, science-based plan not a quick “fix.”
If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or afraid you’re running out of options, know this:
You’re not failing your dog but he’s also not a machine that can be fixed. You may just need better tools and support to help you understand dogs and dog behavior. And that’s something we can work on—together.
Photo courtesy of San Mosconi: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-and-white-photo-of-a-dog-14668376/