Love Dogs? Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Always Pet Them | Respecting Canine Space & Comfort

Many dogs don’t enjoy being touched by strangers—and that’s okay. Learn why respecting your dog’s space bubble, choice, and comfort can reduce stress, build trust, and strengthen your bond.

This topic may raise a few hackles, but it’s time to address our cultural obsession with touching dogs we don’t know.

As a certified behavior professional, I firmly believe that most dogs don’t enjoy being touched by strangers any more than you or I do—and yes, I said that long before the pandemic!

There are several important reasons why I’m not a fan of strangers petting unfamiliar dogs:

1. We all have space bubbles.

Every living being has a “comfort zone.” Think about that person who stands too close when talking to you—what’s your instinct? You move back to where you feel safe. Dogs are no different.

A dog’s comfort bubble—the space that helps them feel calm and secure—varies by breed, temperament, relationship and experience but generally ranges from about 6 to 12 feet or more. When someone invades that space, it can trigger discomfort, fear, avoidance, freezing, or even reactivity, especially as the dog matures. Respecting a dog’s personal space is a simple act of kindness that builds trust and safety.

2. Choice is a basic right.

Dogs on leash can’t create space when they’re uncomfortable—they’re literally trapped. When an unfamiliar person reaches out, that dog loses control and choice. Not having control over your own body and movements is very stressful for all species. Stanford University professor Robert Sapolsky explains, “When you perceive a situation as completely out of your control, it significantly increases stress levels”. Imagine walking through a grocery store and every shopper you pass stops to touch you—how would that feel? That’s what many dogs experience on their daily walks.

3. Head pats are annoying- for most species.

Let’s be honest—most of us don’t like being patted on the head, and neither do dogs! Yet that’s often the first thing people do when greeting a dog.  Animal behavior expert and PHD Patricia McConnell wrote about head pats 2 decades ago. See the link below.

4. Body Language matters.

Most people are unaware of the subtle ways dogs communicate. Research suggests that humans often misread or miss a dog’s early stress signals—lip licks, head turns, or stiff body posture. What might look like tolerance could actually be quiet discomfort.

5. Just a sniff, please!

Dogs rely on scent to gather information. When they sniff someone, it’s the canine equivalent of saying hello—not an invitation to be touched. Just because a dog approaches to sniff doesn’t mean they want hands reaching toward them. Think of it like greeting someone at the store; you might say hello, but you’re not asking for a hug.

6. Have you seen dogs overseas?

If you’ve ever traveled to countries—particularly in Europe—where dogs are welcome in cafes, stores, and public spaces, you may have noticed how calm and well-behaved they tend to be. One reason? They’re not constantly being touched by strangers. Without the pressure of unpredictable social interactions, dogs can relax and simply exist alongside humans.

But wait—what if my dog loves people?

Even if your dog enjoys attention, consider this: Do you want your dog to become overly aroused, pulling toward every stranger for the next 10 to 15 years?

When your dog is on a leash, he has no choice. Leash time should be like a well-choreographed dance—about the two of you, moving together, without outside social pressure. In my professional opinion, letting everyone touch your dog is one of the quickest ways to create overexcitement, reactivity, and stress.

Respecting your dog’s space bubble and reading his body language will help him feel calm and secure, even in busy environments. Over time, your dog will learn that when he’s on leash, it’s about connection with you—and he’ll thank you for it.

How can you handle random touch from strangers?

Politeness works wonders. You can simply say, “He’s in training,” or, better yet, use an “In Training” vest or bandana to signal that your dog is not available for petting. This sets a clear boundary and helps you both enjoy your time together without unwanted social pressure.

https://www.patriciamcconnell.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Bark-2005-Winter-The-Right-Touch.pdf